Diana Baumrind originally conceptualized three types of parents. The best type, Authoritative, is very loving and uses age-appropriate, fair, predictable forms of discipline. Permissive parents get half of the equation correct – they are very loving to their kids – but they let their kids down by being too laidback when it comes to discipline. Authoritarian parents go awry by not showing their love and by using harsh, unfair discipline that is not age-appropriate.
Eleanor Maccoby added a fourth type of parent who also gets
both Warmth and Control wrong: the
Indifferent-Uninvolved parent. In many
ways, these parents seem “checked-out” in their children’s lives: even if they live with them they act like absentees.
Indifferent-Uninvolved parents are Low in Warmth. This means that they are serious or gruff
toward their kids, they rarely praise their children, they don’t show much
affection or say, “I love you,” and if they are stressed out, they take it out
on the family. It may be that they do
love their kids but something is preventing them from expressing it – for
example, if they are dealing with physical or mental illness. It could also be that they do not feel love
for their children – maybe this was an unwanted pregnancy or they feel resentful
for the attention given to the child.
At the same time, Indifferent-Uninvolved parents are Low in
Control. This means that they may not
have any rules for their children, or that these rules are better suited for
younger kids – they don’t expect enough of their kids. Even if there are rules, these rules can be
easily broken without any real or meaningful consequence. It could be that they
have low Involvement with their child, so they don’t know what they should
expect of children of those ages, and they aren’t around enough to supervise
the children to know a rule was broken.
It may be that the parent is too stressed from his or her own life to be
able to enforce these rules. It could
also be that the parent has no interest in these children beyond providing for their basic needs: what the kids do, good or bad, is not on their
radar.
If some problems are associated with Permissive parenting (High Warmth; Low Control) and Authoritarian parenting (Low Warmth; High Control), we see that Indifferent-Uninvolved parenting is associated with the very worst child outcomes. Children with Indifferent-Uninvolved parents are more likely to have behavior problems as children. They are also most likely to grow up to have substance abuse issues and problems with the law as teenagers. This "rejecting and neglecting" style of parenting is associated with serious problems in development.
If some problems are associated with Permissive parenting (High Warmth; Low Control) and Authoritarian parenting (Low Warmth; High Control), we see that Indifferent-Uninvolved parenting is associated with the very worst child outcomes. Children with Indifferent-Uninvolved parents are more likely to have behavior problems as children. They are also most likely to grow up to have substance abuse issues and problems with the law as teenagers. This "rejecting and neglecting" style of parenting is associated with serious problems in development.
If you think about it, these children grow up getting
nothing from their parents. With
Authoritative parents, kids get two good things: lots of love and safe boundaries set by
adults who are in tune with them. With
Permissive parents, kids get one good thing: lots of love. With Authoritarian parents, kids get nothing that is ideal but at least the parents show interest in them through their intense policing and
discipline. With Indifferent-Uninvolved
parents, children get the message that they are nothing: unloved and uninteresting.
Further Reading:
At your local college library you can access a good historical review of parenting, including Baumrind's three styles: Maccoby, E. E. (1992) The role of parents in the socialization of children: An historical overview. Developmental Psychology, Vol 28(6), 1006-1017.
At your local college library you can access a good historical review of parenting, including Baumrind's three styles: Maccoby, E. E. (1992) The role of parents in the socialization of children: An historical overview. Developmental Psychology, Vol 28(6), 1006-1017.
In its extreme, Indifferent-Uninvolved parenting can give way to neglect. Here is information from the American Psychological Association on "Understanding and Preventing Child Abuse and Neglect."
Psychology Today magazine offers some parental stress management tips, with specific reference to parents of children who have special needs.
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